Inner to Outer

Emotional support for women of color weeding useless thoughts cultivating flowers of a joyful life. Relieve the tension between inner self and outer self with devotion to peace and love to black sisters accross the world. Tending the garden of the mind is here for support to explain simple but powerful ways to start the love from within your black divine being.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Sail On By Me Negativity

Sail On By Me Negativity

Three things to do to make negativity sail away from your inner thoughts

Do not react to other people’s negativity, remember that other people’s opinions of you aren’t important and stop trying to change negative people at the expense of your own inner well-being.

Don't put the key to happiness in someone else's pocket.

If you have ever spent some time with a negative person, you know how quickly you can start to take on that negative mentality. Negativity can take a perfectly good life and ruin it. Here are three things to do to make negativity sail away from your inner thoughts. When negative emotion takes over, it is important to identify the source. Is it your own negative emotion or did you pick it up from someone else? Negative people tend to have a problem for every solution.

Do not react to Other People’s Negativity
Rather than try to correct someone who is being negative, remind yourself that you get to decide how to respond to that person and you do not need to feed into his or her negativity. A lot of times, simply disarming them with a positive response is enough to get them to sit up and pay attention to their own negativity, but it’s not your job to try to change them. Focus on how you want to show up for the conversation and stick to that. 

Once you decide that you are not putting a negative person out of your life for good, you need to learn to manage them and their negativity in your life. This means that you need to get clear on what you are willing to put up with and what you are not going to tolerate. You do not even have to tell people what these boundaries are, but you need to know them and abide by them yourself. You might decide that you will not talk about certain topics, such as money; around negative people because it always leaves you feeling guilty about how much money you make or have.

Remember That Other People’s Opinions of You Aren’t Important
Someone who is quite negative all the time is going to have a thing or two to say about you and your life. You will need to get a thick skin if you are going to continue to have this negative person in your life and let the comments roll off your back. Remember that the things this person says are not about you at all, but that they are finding things in you that they do not like about themselves so they are projecting that onto you. It is not you, it is them. 

If you find that, the conversation is turning into a negativity-fest, then try changing the subject and talking about something that everyone can enjoy. Bring up your favorite song or activity or even better, ask the negative person to tell you about something they enjoy. It will help shift their focus away from whatever it is that they are complaining about and will help you be able to better manage the experience.

Stop Trying to Change Negative People at the expense of your own inner well-being
One of the most frustrating things about negative people is that they complain about everything and while it is plain as day to you that all they need to do is change a few things about their life and they wouldn’t be so negative all the time, the negative person can’t see the benefit of that approach. Therefore, it is vitally important that you keep in mind that it is not your responsibility to fix this person. They have to decide they want to be different. Remember that you cannot change someone’s negative perspective. You can only be a better version of yourself than you were yesterday; perhaps, that might inspire the negative people in your life to get a grip and stop acting like a big baby. However, if not, you can only worry about yourself, so put your focus there instead of worrying about how you can help the negative people in the world.

Negative people tend to have a problem for every solution. Therefore, if you find yourself in the presence of someone who just keeps putting up roadblocks, then you might have to hit them hard with tons of solutions for their problems. Although it is not always enough to get them to change their mind, it will at least allow you to walk away from the encounter feeling like you do not hate everything and everyone.

The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.

- Ernest Dimnet

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